2. What is your opinion of the people of Eskbank?
3. What is your opinion on Sexy Alan?
4. Have you ever seen George V driving his vintage car around Eskbank?
5. If Eskbank was a historical figure who would it be?
6. If Eskbank was a colour what would it be?
7. If Eskbank was a celebrity who would it be?
8. If Sexy Alan was a celebrity, why would that be?
9. If Eskbank was a band, who would it be?
10. If Eskbank was a musical genre what would it be?
11. What is the main religion in Eskbank?
12. What is the native language in Eskbank?
13. What is the general character of the archetypal eskbanker?
14. If Sexy Alan made a porn film in the Justinlees, what would your role be/what would you do?
15. You have been banished from Eskbank, what do you do?
16. What is the average IQ in Eskbank?
17. Who was your favourite doctor who?
18. If eskbank was an odour what would it be?
19. If Eskbank was a beverage what would it be?
20. Name 10 celebrated individuals who secretly live in/are secretly from Eskbank
21. Why gravity?
22. You arrive home. Sexy Alan sits weeping in his Y-fronts in your living room. what do you do?
23. Eskbank people are not renowned for their hospitablity. why do you think this is?
24. Why are Eskbankers (most of them) so much better looking and well-educated than everyone else?
25. Someone stops you outside the Eskbank trading asking for directions to Kirkliston. What do you say?
26. What are Eskbank's definable borders?
27. Say in five words what Eskbank means to you
28. What has Eskbank taught you over the years?
29. What is the regional dress-code of Eskbank?
30. What is the Eskbank moral code?
31. How would you describe Eskbank to a martian invader
32. What is your opinion on the rest of Dalkeith?
33. What, in your opinion is the best thing about Eskbank
34. Worst thing?
35. If Eskbank was declared its' own nation state, who, in your opinion should be made fuhrer?